Blog Entry 04.05.2023
How to claim your time back!
Here’s my theory; we go from ‘young adult’ where we basically do what we want, but those things are measurable and largely focus on working and socialising, to proper grown-up adult, without realising it happened.
Suddenly you just know you are so busy doing stuff, you don’t even know what it is your doing… you just never seem to not being doing something, and planning the next thing you need to do…
And most of it is mundane stuff like paying bills, going grocery shopping or worse – to the dentist – and you have to clean the house, bring your watch in to be repaired and collect the dry-cleaning. And don’t start me if you have children or family living nearby… Then you have to do even more shopping, more dentist visits, mountains of laundry, doctors’ appointments, pick up prescriptions, get the dog it’s vaccinations, do the GAA runs and Speech & Drama…
It just doesn’t stop!
Blog Entry 20.04.2023
How to protect yourself from what isn’t yours.
We’ve all been there, a natural disaster happens globally and we are shocked and feel emotions of sadness, disbelief, anger or otherwise, even though the people affected are strangers and the situation is so far from our reality, that we cannot imagine it at all.
We meet people in work, in the shop, on the street even, and we stop and tell each other even though, they probably know already.
It’s only natural.
What makes it more real is, if a tragedy happens in the community…
Or within your friend or work group…
Now we do more or less the same, except we are talking about people we actually know, or know of. We stop and chat to everyone about it. Agree how awful it is and try to come up with theories as to how it could have happened/could be made better/were lucky because/and how will they work things out for the future…
Blog Entry 06.04.2023
Life is always changing.
From the moment we are born, nothing stays the same.
In some ways we want change; when we are a child and a young person, we want to grow up, then we want to be independent, have a great career that makes lots of money, own a house, get married, have kids, get promotions, have holidays, be fitter, slimmer, stronger - we want this and that all the time!
In fact, we are seldom happy with what we have!
At the same time, we want some things to stay the same; we want our home to be stable, our family to always be there, our friends to be around us, our partners to always be our partners.
Obviously, I am being very general here, but you get what I mean.
If our life is a book, different phases in our lives are chapters.
Blog Entry 23.03.2023
She must have carried you at some stage
(Only read on if you have an open mind).
In retrospect of Mother’s Day, this blog is dedicated to all the mother-child relationships that were and are, not good.
The ones where you feel she did a crappy job…
Where you spent your whole life wondering why she couldn’t have done things better…
Where you felt let down and unsupported…
Neglected, ignored or down right abused…
You feel like your whole life was shaped as a result – for the worse!
Blog Entry 09.03.2023
What is beauty?
What is beauty to you? And how does it make you feel?
Do you know? Did you ever tune into it?
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and this is said for a reason, because we all see the world through different filters…
We all come with a genetic history, a life-time of experiences, social conditioning, unique likes and dislikes, and much more…
For example, an Irish woman’s pale skin is seen as beautiful in other countries, yet she goes through bottles of tanning lotion trying to hide her paleness!
There are endless examples and let’s dig a little deeper;
Blog Entry 23.02.2023
When they add 2 + 2 and get 5… but are CONVINCED it’s really 4!
Have you ever had someone judge you wrongly?
Have you ever done something and someone else picks it up in a completely different way?
Have you ever not done something at all, and someone presumed you did and blamed you?
People presume all the time.
They see and hear things, reference it to their life’s experience and decide what this collection of words and actions actually means, despite having no evidence at all.
Now, as long as they are open to the realisation that they are interpreting stuff, and that their version is not fact, then it’s mostly good.
The problem really occurs when people decide so strongly that they know, that they are convinced of things being as they see them...
Blog Entry 02.02.2023
Is Valentines Day all just a farce?
Or is it a must?
Is it real romance?
Or just a thing one has to do, to fit in?
I’m talking about Valentines Day. Let’s face it, it has gone very commercialised!
Flowers are overpriced, restaurants are overbooked and you can buy any size of a teddy bear holding a red heart.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a bit of romance. But not because Hallmark said so!
I don’t like the expectation of it, the feeling of one must go along with it, and then if you don’t, you nearly have to explain yourselves.
I feel like marketing has in some ways taken over the freedom to come up with your own ideas – you are told by the TV and social media what to do and buy, and if you happen to escape those influences, you are bombarded in every shop with the same message… and if you deviate, well shame on you.
What a load of BS!
Blog Entry 18.01.2023
New year, new routine.
Every now and again, we need to hear it, again, we need to hear the importance of self-care.
We hear phrases thrown around such as; ‘put your own oxygen mask on first’ or ‘you cannot pour from an empty cup’, however, we often do not seem to follow this advice, choosing to look after others first, whether they really need it or not.
If you are not familiar with these phrases, basically, they mean that if you are not ok, looked after, of even keel, etc., you are not much good to anyone else. That ‘anyone else’ could be your family, partner, elderly parent, friend, work colleagues or any business or projects that you are running.
We are often guilty of putting everyone and everything else first, leaving ourselves last on the list.
Blog Entry 05.01.2023
New Years’ Resolutions -know your why, or else don’t bother!
Do you set new year’s resolutions?
Do you know what the key is to succeeding? Read on and I’ll tell you!
Every year countless of people make resolutions that they really intend to keep. And every year they don’t. Ever wonder why that is? Why does it seem so difficult?
When I was 21, I gave up smoking. It was my third attempt. I started when I was 13 years old, most of us did. The school bus would drop us off outside the local co-op and we used to buy one cigarette and a match for 10p, then smoke our cigarette sitting in the back store room on bags of corn and meal… different times people, different times.
Blog Entry 22.12.2022
Are you actually feeling what you say you are?
Or is there something deeper going on? Something more painful, more difficult to face?
A good example is anger. We often feel anger when actually we are sad or afraid.
Think about it, think about the last time you were angry… what or who were you angry at? And was there another emotion hiding underneath??
I’ll give you an example;
Let’s say one of my children is planning something, like a day out in Dublin, and I ask them about it; what time are they leaving, which train are they getting up, and back, did they check the times, how are they getting home from the train…
And let’s say the answers I get are something like; ‘not sure yet’, ‘ah we’ll see’, ‘I’ll look it up later’, ‘ah it’ll work out’, ‘yeah, I think so’…
I can feel the anger rising inside...
Blog Entry 8.12.2022
I still miss you…
Grief is such a shit thing, there’s just no dressing it up!
This day 11 years ago, I lost my grandmother. It feels like yesterday and it feels like a lifetime ago, all at the same time.
I was with her when she passed, one of the most privileged moments in my life…. to hold her hand, gently rub her cheek and tell her it was ok. I told her, that if it was her wish to go and be with grandad, to go, that we would miss her but would be ok, and in her own time, she did...
It was surreal.
Blog Entry 24.11.2022
Who are you anyway?
You are your story; your experiences, your beliefs, your values, your history, your genetics – you are you.
You are not them.
Or them.
Or anyone else at all.
They are their story…
So how then, are we expected to conform to the same trends, the same fashions, the same values, the same ways of being…
The same likes and dislikes…
The same opinions and views…
When we are all different, coming from totally different places…
We’re actually not!
Blog Entry 10.11.2022
They just didn't care. Or was it something else?
When you get undressed, what is the last item you take off? Why?
When you eat your dinner, do you eat one food item at a time or a bit from them all? Why?
When you tell your friend you’ll call but then don’t, why do you do that?
Do you know any of the whys?
When you come late, why is that? Is it traffic, the cows crossing, or did you simple not allow for unforeseen circumstances and cut it too fine?
But when your friend is late, is that ok…?
When we are late, we are quick to blame circumstances, definite that we would have been on time if that tractor had not been in the way.
When our friend is late, we automatically turn it into a character flaw; they don’t care enough, they are always so unorganised, they just couldn’t give a shite, etc., etc.
Why is that?
How do we know?
How do we know that they don’t care? Maybe they had that tractor in front of them…
Blog Entry 27.10.2022
Bereavement is a unique journey.
Nothing makes a bereavement ok. Not if they were old and had a good life, were sick and now are not suffering, or are now with their whoever…
These things may add some light to a dark situation, but they don’t make it ok.
Over the years, of various bereavements, I can honestly say no two were remotely the same for me.
I’ve experienced the sudden one, the timely one, the drawn-out one and the suicide…
All different. All unique. All shite.
There is plenty written about the stages of grief, and whereas this is a good guideline of what to expect, so you know you are not going mad, it’s just a rough guideline.
Sometimes I still thought I was going mad!
Blog Entry 13.10.2022
What is your comfort?
So there is a definite drop in temperature, agreed? It’s not just me feeling the cold, is it?? I haven’t seen any frost in the mornings, on the grass, but I have gone out late at night and really felt it in the air!
I’m not complaining. I like the winter. I like drawing the curtains and lighting the fire and cosying up inside the house.
I have a blanket on the back of the couch, just for extra comfort, and I take a hot water bottle to bed, just to take the chill out of the bed.
I don’t like the cold. I’m not a lie-on-the-beach-bake-in-the-sun kind of person… but I don’t like being cold.
So how about you?
Blog Entry 29.09.2022
Empty Nest, like totally empty this time!
Is it cliché, talking about the empty nest at this time of year?
People are asking me if I’m enjoying the quiet house, the freedom…
I’m sorry, I think I’m on a different hymn sheet.
To me it feels like there’s a part of me missing. A bit like the first time I brought my daughter to playschool, and then later in town I kept thinking I’d lost her as I would turn where she should be and she wasn’t and my heart did that flip that it does when you get an awful fright, but then immediately I’d remember where she was and that I’d get her back at 12noon, or later in school at 2 or 3 and then 4pm.
However now I get her back on Friday. Friday! And two of them. Both my babies away. A whole week away. Well technically not an actual week but you get the idea.
It’s gonna take some getting used to…
Blog Entry 15.09.22
Dark days, long nights, blazing fires – and SAD
& 10 tips to help you move into Autumn.
So what’s been happening since my last blog, well, the kids are nearly gone out the door, boxing off their clothes and toiletries to move to college…
And the evenings are closing in, much too fast for my liking! I mean seriously - 8.30pm and it’s nearly pitch-black outside!!
Do ye mind the early darkness, the shorter days?
Some people don’t mind, others really, really do. We’ve all heard about depression linked with long hours of darkness it is called Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD.
SAD is a type of depression that is related to the seasons in so far that, usually people react, or present with symptoms, when the days get shorter and we have less daylight hours. It is thought that they are very sensitive to the lack of daylight, resulting in a negative chemical reaction in their brain, causing symptoms of depression.
Blog Entry 1.09.22
It’s all happening!
School starts back, this week at the latest and some are already back.
Lots of little boys and girls going for the very first time. The excitement and the scary unknown, in equal measures.
Bigger boys and girls heading to secondary school – a big move. This usually brings about a lot of change, not immediately, but in the coming year or two! Parents beware!
LC results are out on Friday, with college offers on Thursday… a massive move into a much bigger world.
Then college actually starts mid-September and the kids/adults (yeah right), are released like calves being let out into a fresh field. Pure feckin mad they go! Freedom for the first time in a measure they are actually overwhelmed by, if only they had the maturity to admit it…
So, it’s all a bit mad at this time, or is it?
Do we make it mad?
Blog Entry 18.8.22
Why do we push ourselves beyond healthy limits?
And how to stop!
We have all done it at different times in our lives! Pushed ourselves so hard that we blew, got sick, messed up really big – or all of those together!
But why do we do it??
We know we are tired.
We want a break
We NEED a break.
We are not happy in our decision to take on more, yet we do.
We start making mistakes, not being able to think straight, focus, make decisions or complete tasks.
We get narky and short tempered.
We binge on sugar, forget to go outside, drink water…
The spiral goes on and on until it comes to a stop, usually because of an accident, an illness or both.
Blog Entry 4.5.22
Conflicting emotions are real, in fact they happen frequently.
Last week my son had his Debs – I was happy for him, excited and looking forward to it, while at the same time, leading up to the day itself, I was increasingly feeling sad for my daughter, who through covid, never had a chance to have her Debs.
Or…
When I resigned from nursing a few years ago, I was crying so hard, texting my colleagues, I used so many tissues, the floor looked like one of the dogs had shredded their bed! All the while I was so excited about the new Kinesiology path in my career. While also feeling extreme relief to never have to stretch myself again working night duty as a nurse and running a boarding kennel by day.
Blog Entry 21.7.22
What’s for dinner Mam?
Do you hate that question? You are up to your tonsils in laundry, your boss is calling – twice already this afternoon, you just broke a cup and then, what’s for dinner comes shouted down the hall as if there is nothing else for you to do except wait for that request to come in…
And obviously you know they have to eat, you have to eat, and you don’t mind feeding them, generally, but it’s relentless, it’s every day! And then when you put in some extra effort, make something nice and you might get a snotty comment - they don’t like it!
Oh, why did I bother?!
Blog Entry 23.6.2022
What does Fathers' Day mean to you?
Last Sunday was Father’s Day in Ireland, a day celebrated by gifting the Dad with presents and showing him how much he is appreciated, how much we are grateful for him and thankful for our childhood experience as well as the support into adult life.
But what if you’re not feeling it…
What if your experience is not something you are thankful for, appreciate and you don’t feel supported even today?
That’s a tough one! Do you ignore the day, pretend, ah we were never into that… sure it’s all Hallmark and marketing?
Or do you ‘play’ along, do your duty, buy him something while screaming inside?
If we didn’t have the relationship, we wished we had with our Dad, it can leave some really big scars.
Blog Entry 26.5.2022
It might be hard to see, but change is a decision!
This week, on social media, I spoke about taking the first step towards something you want, and making a decision to do so. We must make a decision, in order to create change…
Whether it is going to a class, learn an instrument, going to therapy of some kind, going for a walk by yourself or even just going to bed earlier.
Some of you might think, oh it’s not a decision, I have no choice… however, I know it is and I do not say it lightly or in a disregarding manner. I am not dismissing the turmoil that goes on for people as they weight up their responsibilities and try to see where they could possibly find the time to do the things they wish to do.
I was that person. Some days I still am. I have the T-shirt in XL hanging firmly in my wardrobe. I take it out every now and again, and put it on, except now I realise quickly enough that it doesn’t fit anymore.
Blog entry 12.5.2022
New glasses and a new phone! In one week! The stress!!!
Why do we not like change?
I got a new phone and new glasses in one week this week! And whereas I needed them both, oh well what can I say? The stress of it!
Something like getting a new phone can be a big stress for someone! It may be little exciting, however also laced with stress, remembering that stress does not always have to come from bad situations – for example getting married, generally a good thing, can be very stressful!
Blog Entry 28.4.2022
10 tips to help you navigate the LC
The final few weeks of the Leaving Cert cycle is here, 6 to be precise!
Do you have a student doing the LC? Are the stress levels rising?
My daughter did hers last year and my son is this year. Obviously last year is not comparable to this year, both years have been affected with covid differently and compensated differently - let’s face it, the whole school system has been overhauled and it’s been a bit all over the place. Each year has had their own stresses within their experience.
The stresses the students feel are varied and come from different areas. They may feel it from their teachers, parents, siblings or other people, but many times it’s actually an internal dialogue that’s going on.
The story they have made up themselves based on how they have interpreted the world around them…
Blog Entry 14.4.2022
Our healing journeys
For me it was a bit of an accidental stumble that led me on to my path of healing. I knew I had issues to deal with, issues I wanted to deal with. I wanted to feel different, be calmer, less hurt by people’s actions… but I thought this was just the way it was. I had had an upbringing with it’s share of factors that could certainly account for some adult issues, so I just thought this is the way it is, I was a product of my situation.
And I was, until now, however that didn’t mean I couldn’t change!
Blog Entry 31.3.2022
Mother’s Day Hindsight
We have so many celebratory days throughout the year… all reasons to be happy – or not!
Mother’s Day on Sunday got me thinking. I thought about how for years I didn’t like this day, how I would be challenged to feel the full happiness and goodness of both celebrating my mothers Mother’s Day and my own Mother’s Day with my children. Both had their issue attached. Their stories. Of course, they were all stories that I made up in my head, and in my heart, as all of our stories are! They are all are own version of the world based on our experiences.
But they are there and they are true for us.
Today these stories are not a big deal for me. I enjoyed Mother’s Day, I was spoiled my children and husband, and remembered my own mother fondly.
Blog Entry 17.3.2022
The importance of tradition
Today is Saint Patrick’s Day and here in Ireland we have a few traditions on this day… and it got me thinking about traditions, why we have them, what they mean and where did they come from? I don’t really mean the ones that are steeped in history, like St. Patrick’s Day, but the ones in each of our families, towns and counties.
Who started them?
Why did they start them?
Did they realise it would turn into a tradition?
I think family traditions are what makes our families our families. It’s our unique stamp that makes us different from each other. No one is better or worse because of it, it’s just that stamp of making us, us.
Blog Entry 3.3.2022
March is the month of new beginnings.
Planning is on my mind a lot this week, I have posted about it and the Sunday Challenge will be about it too. Perhaps because March is associated with the start of spring and new beginnings, the start of active forward movement into the coming year, jumping into action to achieve goals and dreams… or perhaps it’s just where I’m at this week in my own life…
Either which way, let’s talk about new beginnings and fresh starts and planning for such.
Blog Entry 17.2.2022
How are the new years’ resolutions going?
Most people will have let them slide by now, that initial surge of enthusiasm well gone as everyday life, and its challenges take over again. The dream, a little more lost in the fog of busyness, the discipline to achieve what you so badly wanted to achieve, wavering in the midst of old habits.
Ah yes, the new years resolutions slowly drifting away out of each for yet another year…
Or are they?
Can it be saved?
I ask you firstly to consider the phenomenon of setting goals on the first of January; you are more than likely over fed, over drank, over spent, over familied… the nights are long and dark and now there is nothing to look forward to… are you even in the right head space to be setting goals? Is it the ideal time to do this? Did you ever consider that goals/resolutions/intentions can be set at any time of the year??
Blog Entry 3.2.2022
Valentine’s Day, Romance & Self-Care
What does Valentine’s Day mean to you? Is it a day you mark because media prompts you to? Is it a day you would prefer didn’t exist at all? Are you indifferent? Maybe you like the “excuse” to have a special occasion to celebrate your love for your partner.
Whichever is true for you, is ok.
I myself think it’s a little hyped up and the traditional chocolates and flowers are not totally up my street. Don’t get me wrong, I love both flowers and chocolates, but they somehow mean more if I got them for no particular reason. I love carnations, and sometimes my husband brings me a couple of bunches from the supermarket, yes, the supermarket and that’s ok, and he brings a couple of bunches because I like to mix the colours! It means more that he thought of me in passing, than if he bought a big bunch of roses because the media told him to.
Romance and gestures are a funny thing anyway, aren’t they?
Blog Entry 20.1.2022
How low are we stooping to avoid responsibility for this?
Disclaimer; I wrote this with some anger in my heart so if you might be offended, maybe skip this one!
I would imagine that most murderers don’t get up one day and carry out such a horrendous task having been cognitively and emotionally healthy the day before. The issue started way back before the act of murder.
Since poor Ashling came to her awful final hour, that man had many other behaviours that were not normal which ultimately led to this. Social media are going on about talking to our sons about violence against women… really? Do we need to actually tell our sons, any man, that violence against women is wrong? Is that our standard? Is that how low we have stooped?? Do I sit my 18-year-old down and give him this newsflash??!
OMG! We have to approach this differently! It needs to start way before that! We all need to take responsibility here!
Blog Entry 6.1.2022
What is it all about, the new year??
I’m sure there is a lot of history behind it. A very quick search stated Julius Caesar decided the 1st of January would be the first day of the year, something about honouring the God Janus who had two faces, one looking forward and one looking back… Why Caesar had the power to do this, who Janus was or why he had two faces… well I really don’t know and I suspect it wouldn’t really change how I or most people view this big calendar event every year.
For you and I, or at least most readers, the new year symbolises new beginnings, a chance to leave behind the things we don’t want anymore and the opportunity to greet new things, better things, good fortune, good health and so forth. There is a little excitement in the air at the prospect of better, the prospect of great stuff that awaits us, perhaps just around the corner…
Blog Entry 16.12.21
Grief & the ripple effect
This is kind of part two of a blog on grief, however you do not need to have read the first blog to get some take-aways from this one. The first one, two weeks ago was a breakdown of the stages of grief, how we meander through them and what we can do to help ourselves make this difficult journey just a little bit easier.
Just to remind ourselves… the stages are most commonly divided into 5;
•Denial, numbness & shock
•Bargaining
•Depression
•Anger
•Acceptance
And can be experienced in any order, simultaneously and for various sporadic and repeated time spams. In a nut shell, most people experience a rollercoaster in and out of the stages and their respective emotions!
I then wrote about complex or complicated grief and how it is different, as it holds characteristics of being in a more ongoing, heightened state of mourning with intense sorrow and pain leaving the individual able to focus on little else apart from their loss. The feelings can be quite debilitating and continue for longer than usual. It is important to seek professional help if experiencing complicated grief.
But today I want to talk about something completely different, something that I feel very few talk about regarding a bereavement – the ripple effect.
Blog Entry 2.12.2021
Grief & what may help
On a most basic level, we associate grief with the emotional journey one goes through, following the loss of a loved one. Today though, we widely extend that beyond people who have died, to animals, lost relationships, change of identities or health/ability status and more.
I believe that grief occurs with any loss of anything that you have formed a bond or identity with, which now the loss of, causes you intense sorrow, heartache and emotional pain. To the onlooker, it may not always be obvious that a certain behaviour, way of being or composure reflects a person’s grief. It is often not obvious to the person going through grief, that their behaviour is grief! Pain can be displayed through anger, for example.
I think we have a big, global issue with undealt grief as culturally we are driven to, expected to ‘get over it’ and move on. I feel this is because grief is uncomfortable for others to watch, it pushes too many buttons of their own undealt stuff! But that’s another Blog!
For now, let’s look at and try understand the stages of grief, to have an idea of what may be going on for a person.
There are some well researched and written upon stages of grief...
Blog Entry 18.11.2021
Dogs and us
What is it about our dogs that we love so much?
We have two dogs; Sandy is a 14-year-old Labrador-supposed-to-be-retriever but the retriever bit is hiding somewhere, and Darwin is a Gordon Setter crossed with we-are-not-sure and he is 7ish but again we are not certain as he is a rescue dog.
Everything they do, well almost everything, is just adorable; the way their ears flop as they walk along, and flop at high speed when they run! Ever notice it when they are running towards you? It looks like they are going to take off! Or the way the hold their head sideways when curious about a sound or watching you do something. Or the way they lean into you, their way of giving you a hug. Even the cute expressions of their face, totally irresistible, is nature’s way of creating a very special bond between humans and dogs.
Personally, I am always fascinated by their senses. They know stuff that is going on without any obvious indication.
Blog Entry 4.11.2021
Would you go see someone about that?
There are so many types of therapies available today, it’s just fascinating. I am curious about most of them and have tried several, but probably not even half!
I have been to many therapists over the last 15 years. I have gone out of need and out of curiosity.
Today I want to honour and celebrate some of the many therapies and practitioners, that have supported me along my path.
Let me say at this point (disclaimer here!), that I am not qualified to explain these therapies but I want to showcase them for you, so that you might consider them, and I will give a brief outline to give you a rough idea.
In no particular order;
Blog Entry 21.10.2021
How do emotions present in our bodies? Like physically?
When we are sick, are our bodies sick or our emotions?
What if our emotions are sick and our bodies are showing us symptoms to alert us to the fact that something is wrong?
A lot of illness, stems from an initial source of an unprocessed emotion.
Some people say most illness.
Some say all. Even injuries.
Some say that everything happens to teach us, alert us to a ‘lesson’ which we have to learn.
But let’s not get too deep. Let’s stay with things that many people can identify with, like IBS.
Clients that come in to my clinic with IBS, tell me all the foods they cannot tolerate and what happens if they do eat those foods, and then they will say themselves that their condition is worse at times of stress…
Blog entry 7.10.2021
Do you realise your childhood shapes your adult actions?
I didn’t, not consciously anyway, I mean if I think about it, had thought about it then, it makes total sense, doesn’t it? But how many of us stop and really think about our actions as adults and where they stemmed from, and can we change them from deep down inside…
For me it’s complicated, always has been, ever since my parents divorced when I was 3, maybe even before that…
I’m not going to get into those details here, as it’s not relevant for what I want to say today, but in a nutshell, my life up to 18, when I moved out, was full of turmoil, filled with lots of things I wish weren’t so.
But they were so. And it shaped me. It shapes all of us. The only difference is that some people don’t realise this and some do.
Blog entry 23.9.2021
Sometimes you have to go back to basics!
You are in a good routine of self-care; you spend time mornings and evenings doing yoga, meditating, gratitude journaling, letting go rituals every now and again, mindful walks, etc, etc…
You notice everything feels under control; the little voice in your head is quiet enough or has nothing too mad to say, your routines in work and at home are running smoothly, finances are tipping along - you have enough for what is needed, kids are behaving themselves and still talking to you…
And then BANG! Something goes wrong big time!!
And it’s like that domino game where you stand them all up on their end, and then tip one, and they all fall over…
And then your self-care ritual goes downhill…
Before you know it, you feel like you’re drowning in your own thoughts and you don’t know where to turn. You have forgotten where the off button is…
Blog Entry 9.9.2021
And it’s off to college!
I still remember the first day she started in Junior Infants, it seems like yesterday, and a lifetime ago, all at once.
The first time we, her parents, were not going to be the main influence in her life anymore. Teacher, very quickly, became number one! Teacher said…. Was a statement that we had to get used to hearing and respecting. Let me say, it was an adjustment!
On one side I had a little more free time, but on the other I had more driving to do.
It was like starting school, became the push that the ball needed to go down the hill… and then there was no stopping it. We were brought with the momentum of activities and school calendars and deadlines etc etc….
Blog entry 26.8.2021
Leaving Cert Results
It’s that time of year again, Leaving Cert results just around the corner… the be all and end all of a student’s life.
Or is it?
Have they more wisdom than that. I didn’t! I thought the LC defined who I was and would be for life. I thought everyone would forever ask and know what I got. Yikes!
Let me say at this point, I wasn’t proud of my results!
In a lot of ways, the ‘results emphases’ remained with me throughout other courses and studies I have done. What is that all about?
I totally know now, and learned relatively quickly after my LC results, and when I moved on to the next chapter, my nursing studies, that no one asks, no one cares, it’s like this forgotten thing that we talk about having done once but we only remember it with a vague disgust.
And all my other courses were the same, no one asks or cares.
So why have we not learned, I mean as parents, as a society, as a system…
We say we don’t care what our children get, yet some flaunt the results like it’s a flag of honor. In school kids with the best results are glorified!
We know the pressure causes massive stress and we just...
Blog entry 12.8.2021
Running a business and your wellbeing
Let me start off by saying (and I’m writing this part after I wrote the piece below and read it back…);
I have no regrets, in fact I’m loving this journey! Totally! And am keeping going!! I believe in what I do and am only guilty of wanting it to be an easier ride than it is.
Because here it is…
It’s tough! There’s no sugar coating it, it’s pretty much full on, long hours, any hour you get, uphill, against the wind, in the rain…. With the odd ray of sunshine that then makes it worthwhile! At least that’s how it is for me at this early stage!
Am I painting a terrible picture?
I suppose I’m just saying it is a big challenge and it is tough. For all you others out there starting a business, just in case you thought you were doing something wrong, you’re probably not, it’s just the way it is. Tough.
You live with the dream that someday it will get easier and flow more a little by itself.
But what makes it bearable, what drives me to keep going, is that I love what I am working towards, and what my product and service represents. If you have that, you’ll be grand. Cause you know that when you get up that hill and dry yourself off, it’ll have been worth it! The view of what you’ve created will be there for you to see, and in my case, with my products and services, will have helped people, 1,2 10, 100… I don’t care, any amount is good in my book.
And that’s what drives me!
So, for now, I face the hill, the wind....
Blog entry 29.7.2021
The importance of having a good workspace
Whether it is a comfortable chair, access to fresh air, the colour scheme or other factors, if you are feeling good or not in your work space, makes all the difference.
Sometimes we don’t even know what it is that makes it good or not, sometimes it just feels good. Or not.
I love my work space. I have two areas in my home in which I work and I’m happy in both places. I work in my clinic and in my dining room. The latter you may say is not ideal, and it’s not, I have to ‘move out’ every weekend. But while I’m there I’m very happy.
It happened by accident; as I wrote the workshops during the first lock-down, which then became the self-care range, Wellness Box etc., I found myself on the computer more and more. My clinic doesn’t really have a suitable desk and using my plinth as a desk was not working well for me. So I moved into the dining room bit by bit and now have a routine where I set up my space every Monday morning, complete with my rose quartz candle holder and affirmations sign, and take it down Friday/Saturday, ready for some family game time etc.
I am surrounded by bright light, lots of windows on all side and views of various aspects of the garden. I watch the little birds and magpies and nature in general. I feel as connected to the outside as I could be without actually going outside. It feels calm and I am mostly focused here.
Blog entry 14.7.2021
Starting a business by accident
Now that I have introduced myself and how the Self-Care Boxes came about, I wanted to write about what this actually meant for me in my life, how I negotiated it and continue to figure it out.
In a nutshell, I haven’t figured it out. At all. However, I’m doing my best to do so every day!
So here’s the thing; I am a nurse and then I found a new path as a holistic therapist, in Kinesiology. It sounds all cliché and corny, but I like helping people. In both these professions, it’s my role to support a person’s healing and wellbeing.
There is nothing entrepreneurial about that!
The idea of the workshops, as I spoke about in my first blog, came about as a way for me to help more people and let them find their way back to the basics (breathing correctly, being grounded etc. etc.), showing them that, whereas they may need a Kinesiologist, or other therapist, there is sooo much they can do for themselves. The stress, overwhelm and anxiety they are experiencing, to name but a few, can so be helped by simple changes to their every-day lives. This is what I wanted to get out there! As most of my clients will tell you, I often suggest various homework as I believe in the empowerment of information., but "suggest” is the main thing to note here, there’s no obligation to do any of it.
Either way, there is still nothing major businessy here.
Then when the workshops turned into Self-Care Boxes, well, things did take a slight turn and into a business direction.
For starters, there were a lot of receipts and sales to track. But that was just the beginning…
Before I knew it, I was listening to Audiobooks on marketing, doing training online...
My first Blog! 30.6.2021
Let me introduce myself....
This is my first blog! And I’m going to be honest, I never thought I’d be doing this! Mainly because I’m not really a big social media person and I always associated blogs with that world. Like before I had my clinic and developed the Wellness Product range, I posted nothing about myself! I looked at my FB feed and shared the odd thing, that’s it. But I see now that this is the way to connect to people, like-minded people, so I embrace that. And after all, I love reading other people’s articles and blogs, love podcasts more because I can be listening and doing some other stuff at the same time, so it stands to reason that I should get into the game.
Fortunately, I love writing! This is how the whole thing started! Let me explain and let me introduce myself….
My name is Sarah and I am the mother of two wonderful children, without a doubt, my most challenging and important role. I have a very kind and supportive husband, two dogs and a cat. We run a small boarding kennel and I have my Kinesiology clinic and Self-Care business.
So I’m busy. Then who isn’t?
Back in March 2020, when the world toppled over into the abyss of a pandemic, I was living the life just described. With one other detail; my mother had just died...