I was introduced to a different way of looking at the world - the wonderful work of Katie Byron was what started my change for real. Her work is called ‘The work’ and it is work! But worthwhile work. It gave me freedom from anger and being in the victim role. It showed me there was a new way, and once I was faced forward, willing to change, there was no turning around for me.

Little by little I found more new ways, new people, new supports and I chipped away at the old me day by day, until this day. The journey doesn’t really stop. There’s always more and you get to the place where that is wonderful…

I hope everyone can stumble upon the catalyst that then faces them forward. Too many of us spend too long looking at the past, stuck in ways, behaviours and habits that no longer serve us.

You may not even realise it. You may, like me, think this, what that is for you, is normal and so not even be aware there is a better, freer version of you inside.

Let me give you some stuff to reflect on… the following are points you can keep in the back of your mind, and also keep in mind that these ‘states’ are normal for everyone at some stage acutely. It’s when this is your chronic state, your most days state, then you really need to consider getting some help in some of the many wonderful ways out there today. I mean never has the world been so full of wellness support, the choice is endless!

So, some indicators to show you may stuff to deal with are;

•Are you easily angered?

•Do you have trouble focusing?

•Do you over think your and other’s actions and words?

•Do you have trouble sleeping? Wake at a specific time a lot of nights?

•Do you have issues with motivation or procrastination?

•Do you get very upset from some people’s actions, and it takes you days or weeks to recover?

•Do you worry about what other people think? Be honest!

•Do you have IBS or other stress related health concerns?

•Do you get overwhelmed by your work load? Can you delegate?

•Do you have issues relaxing, taking time out for you?

•Are you a perfectionist?

And these are just some indicators…

Most people live with these symptoms for years and years and think it’s normal or think it’s just them, it can’t be changed.

It’s may be normal in so far as that a lot of people experience some or all of these, but it’s not the way we are supposed to live our lives!

And it totally can be changed!!

There are so many things that you can do, supports that you can avail of, therapists you can go to for help… however you have to make the decision… you have to decide you want to live a better life.

Unfortunately, a lot of people do not real​ise they can, that there is better for them out there, or they believe there is no point. And a lot of people are comfortable in their suffering – that might sound weird but on an unconscious level it is true –people believe their future will be like their past. For example; if you never had luck in interviews, you are more than likely going to believe you won’t do well in future ones.

What happens on your journey;

•You will change for the better.

•Difficult events, triggers and situations will be easier to deal with and you recover quicker – meaning you will not spend days re-hashing events over in your head telling everyone willing to listen about what happened.

•You will be less tired as emotions are not so heavy anymore.

•You will feel more motivated and able to face the day, the world.

•You will respond to life as opposed to react.

•You will learn to look after yourself and be kind to yourself.

•However, as you change the people around you may become confused as no longer ‘serve’ them like before and you may find some friends move away.

Obviously there will still be days that the above is not true at all and you will revert back to old ways, however over time, old ways become less and less, new ways become more and more.