Continued from... Life is always changing.
Sometimes it’s really good to close some!
For me I was very happy to close the ‘school’ chapter, definitely not the best days of my life, as the saying goes.
I was also very happy to close the ‘living in England’ chapter and those were great days, however I was ready to come back home.
We are usually very happy, content or at least ready to close various chapters in our lives.
But what about those chapters that we do not want to close?
When he breaks up with you and you don’t want to let him go…
When you leave college and are not ready to face the big real adult world…
When your best friend moves away to another country…
When your company folds and you are let go…
When you get injured and can no longer play sport…
When your child grows up and leaves home…
The list goes on and on, and is different for everyone.
Remembering that life is ever changing, is a good starting point. Chapters will open and close your entire life – whether you want them to or not…
In fact, the more you resist these changes, the harder they will be to cope with. The ideal is to go with the flow, with love, turn your boat downstream and sit back.
But what if you just can’t! What if the pain is so great that you find yourself fighting these changes?
To be fair, some things are a challenge to move on from.
Last year both of my children were gone to college and the whole empty nest thing kicked in big time! Despite listing all the freedom I now had and rationalising the normality and rightness of it all, it still took some time to make peace with it.
And so here is the thing; I’m not saying it’s easy or that it can be done in one swift move, all I’m saying is that it’s life and we cannot really stop it.
So, if you are experiencing difficulty closing a chapter in your life, here are some questions you can ponder and journal on, which will help you figure out what’s really going on for you;
•What am I afraid of letting go? Is the security, the sameness, the comfort, the knowing?
•What do I want from this chapter? What is this situation giving me, providing me with? Could I get this somewhere else or in another manner?
•Is what I want actually the best thing for me? Or just what I am familiar with? What is it actually bringing into my life?
•Which would help me grow more as a person, closing the chapter and moving on or keeping it open? BE HONEST!
•How will I cope while this chapter is closing or is closed?
•With the chapter closed, what would my future look like?
•Am I deciding for me or because I think it’s what is expected of me? Am I afraid of what people will say?
•If I was my best friend what advice would I give me?
Do yourself a favour and do actually journal on these questions, as in write them down!
The act of writing, slows your thinking down and if you give yourself the time and space, and are honest with yourself, you will get invaluable answers!
Close your chapters with love, they served you for a time and the new one is waiting for you…