Continued from... Who are you anyway?
If I asked you, should everyone wear skinny jeans cause it’s the fashion, I’m sure you’d say no, that it’s up to them.
Or should everyone have an I-phone, you’d probably give your opinion on such a phone and say it’s a personal choice.
So why is it that people get caught up in some trends, which they go along with even though they are actually not comfortable doing so?
If I told you I wasn’t on any social media, most of you would probably say it’s my choice but somewhere inside you’d think that’s odd!
Or if I told you I had no Netflix and only watched videos, the cassette ones, most would probably think I’d been left behind…
Why is it that some things are seemingly a choice to go along with and with others it’s deemed a given that one does, and if not, it’s seen as weird?
I don’t fully have the answers, I suppose it’s conditioning over time, however, I just want you to think about it. Think about the examples I gave, re-read them even and think about how going ‘against’ some is ok and others not really. (Sometimes it’s easier to notice this phenomenon, when we are listening to others and noticing our reaction to their conforming, or not.
When you have created a little awareness around this, I want you to think about your own life and where you are going along with trends even though you don’t want to, or you think you do, however they are causing you stress.
Stop and really reflect on this.
We get sucked into conformity and habits, in a slow, hidden, unnoticed way…
One day you download Instagram and the next you spend over an hour a day just scrolling, coming away drained and low. And you don’t even know why you are doing it!
Or you agree to mind your sister’s child over and over, it all started one day when she was stuck, and now it’s every week and you can’t say no cause you never did.
Or you meet colleagues for drinks after work and they bitch about your boss the whole time and you really don’t want to be there, but you’ve gone a few times and don’t know how to say no without drawing attention.
In my last Sunday Challenge, I invited you to reflect on a situation where you were compromised in some way, to identify a situation where, despite everyone else doing ‘it’, you don’t want to. It’s just not you.
Perhaps the above examples are in some way something you can resonate with…
Reflect and take an example, ponder on how you felt throughout, feel the discomfort and acknowledge it. Notice any particular areas that were particularly uncomfortable.
Now look at the example from an aspect of what you would like to do differently next time. Pretend you have a cloak of power that, when you put it on, allows you to calmly, firmly and lovingly, be exactly how you want to be… regardless of trends, fashions, upbringing or otherwise.
How would you behave?
How would you speak?
How would you walk into a room?
How would you spend your day?
Who would you spend time with?
Who would you be?
To get the best value out of this exercise, you should write your answers down. Spend some time in peace really answering the questions.
We all could do with re-visiting these questions every now and again, as we are all capable of slowly sliding into patterns we would not choose consciously, if we knew where doing something once or twice, would lead us. So take the time to do this exercise, get the awareness and make the changes you need to become the better, freer version of you.