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Continued from... What is your Comfort?

How do you feel about the winter?

Do you mind it? Even like it?

And what is the comfort thing that you turn to?

Do you know?

Do you know what does comfort you? I don’t mean ‘this and that’ are nice and comforting, the fire, the cup of tea, the whatever…

I mean, do you know what you need?

Do you need a hug…



10 minutes alone…

I often think, if we could be aware enough to see our stresses coming towards us, and knew what we need for those stresses, the antidote for those ones, life would be so much simpler.

Instead, we quickly get pulled into whatever it is, and before long, we get a little consumed, or a lot, until we are carried on the wave of the thing, like a crowd carries you when leaving a concert or a match in a big stadium. You move along as if no choice is involved…

Except we always have a choice.

And we want to not move along on auto-pilot, especially if we are experiencing something unpleasant along the way.

And we really want to have a band-aid, on standby, if at all possible, or at least know where we can get one!

Perhaps you could listen to yourself going forward, tune in to see what really gives you comfort, what do you really benefit from.

Next time something happens;

•Notice what way you respond.

•What did you reach for?

•Notice what your actions are.

•Notice how you feel afterwards.

•Notice did the thing you reached for or do, actually have a deep comfort, or was it an absent-minded response that left you feeling as you were before?

Now over time;

•Is there a pattern?

•Are there some situations where you have made a good choice, and then some not so? What was the difference?

•Could you write down a couple of examples as to how you comforted yourself, did it work and would you change it?

The action of writing stuff down, makes you proper aware of what is going on for you. It might seem punitive for you to do this exercise, but trust me, it’s not!

If it means you are better equipped, are better able to soothe yourself in a healthy and effective way, it could not possibly be a waste of time.

The one thing I would also say, is not to get wound up about all the talk about the doom and gloom of winter and all the predictions of price increases etc. etc.

Remember that drama sells. News about drama sells. It gets listened to and gets talked about.

And I’m not saying to ignore the predictions, however there is a difference if you soberly take some advice on board, make some changes, shop a little wiser, change your energy provider – all of the above - but do not sit every night in front of the news and listen to the negative predictions, assumptions and forecasts, getting sucked in to the what-ifs and having you play one terrible scenario after the other in your head.

It will bring your energy down, feed your fears about uncertainty and overshadow any neutral perspective you have.

Educate yourself about the changes you can make, make them and then trust you have done your bit.

Fretting, wondering, worrying and surmising the what-if’s, do not help.

If you notice yourself falling into that hole – we all do sometimes – but as soon as you have woken up to what you are doing, stop!

Distract yourself away from that slippery slope.

Remind yourself that you have done all you can, you have reviewed your habits, made your changes and so let it go.

Look forward to your fire, your cuppa, your blanket, your hug, your silence, your power-nap, your whatever-it-takes… and comfort yourself in times of stress before it turns into overwhelm.

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