Continued from... Sometimes you have to go back to basics!
You can’t focus, think straight and can’t get anything done. You’re irritable, cross, short fused, crying, shouting. Just want to be left alone or completely mothered, it depends on each individual.
Where the hell is that damn off button to make it all stop!
The off button is in your self-care routine… which is now totally not a routine anymore!
When my mother passed away last year that was me. It happened suddenly and unexpected and in a different country and I was not prepared! Are you ever, I hear you ask? Anyway, the details around it don’t really matter, the point is it up-ended me. Totally! The domino stones came tumbling down in a way that was unexpected and unstoppable.
Self-care routines went out the window. The off button was nowhere to be seen.
I remember weeks went by and I couldn’t even go into the room where I would usually do most of my self-care rituals. Eventually I made a deal with myself just to go in and sit, not try meditate or anything, just sit and be. Then I started journaling just a little, some days. Some breathing exercises. Meditation. Little by little I built up my routine again. It took time. Weeks. Months.
I had to totally go back to basics.
It doesn’t matter what the stress is. A bereavement, a break up, losing your job, moving house, getting married, having a child… it doesn’t have to be negative stress, any big change in life is stressful.
If the stress is big enough, it will turn your self-care on its head and you quickly get lost in the madness of life. Everything will get more difficult than it usually is. Emotional challenges are very real, on top of what is already causing you suffering.
You have to go back to basics to get back on track!
•Be kind to yourself.
•Be content with little tiny baby steps. Even just one.
•Pretend you are a friend advising you on what to do, what do you need to hear?
•It’s ok to deal with each day as it comes, each hour in fact.
•You can totally take a step forward and then two back.
•Do not expect to continue your routine as you were doing before, from one day to the next.
•You are allowed to ask for help.
I am a list person, (love my lists, but that’s another article), so I made a list of what I aspired my self-care routine to be in the mornings and evenings. My thoughts were so scattered, I couldn’t focus enough to just know, and this gave me an anchor to hold on to. One less thing I had to remember. Over time I added to the list and eventually I didn’t need it anymore, confident now that I know what I need to do on a daily basis.
Please know; there are no time limits or standards for going back to basics and getting back on track. None! No yard stick or measuring tape. No prizes, stars or stickers. No red card or penalty points either.
Feel fulfilment as much as you can, with the little steps forward and do your best to ignore, just let be, any steps backwards.
You can do this. If it’s particularly tough, consider getting some help, I find huge support in the therapists I go to, that’s what they/we are there for right? There are no prizes for going it alone either, so please, take some time out today, consider what needs to happen and make a plan.
You’ve got this!